Grant me the strength...







I've had a rough week; work was hell(by the way, just started a new job) and my whole body is losing weight despite me pounding on my food intake.

There have been so many recent conflicts; internal and external. Firstly, my music project. Quite sure that many of you must have started thinking that it was never going to take off. Well, it definitely won't be taking off anytime soon. Sam and I are both very busy people(he sibuk memang sibuk but I sibuk tak tentu pasal). I need to set a time to finish this whole project ASAP. It has been dragging on and on and it seems like it's been forever. Definitely going to be an artiste, Visage of Faith.



Oh yeah, there is something weird about me. I like jumping to step 2 when step 1 hasn't been completed yet. Great.


My thesis is starting to kill me, I'm left behind. Don't know whether I will have enough time.

Have practically lost contact with all of my coursemates. It's looks like I dumped them. Feels good to dump them once in a while. No hard feelings maties! I just really miss you guys and gals; probably that's why I've gone all looney and gooney.


Cheers,

Visage of Faith.

It's another long long hiatus from me again. Firstly, my apologies. I always have a lot to say but somehow, it just doesn't knock blogging anymore.

I love the current state I'm in. Busy with work, leaving the world behind and all its memories. Not remembering anyone or anything. Completely cut off from all connections that existed before my working(part-time) life. It just seems like a real slumberous sleep. Slumberland baby.

We all hate anyone waking us up when we're sleeping or resting nicely. We're all just too damn lazy too move our "golden" asses thanks to Midas who has to touch, grope, molest and every other word you can use to describe Midas's touch. So what happens when it really happens? Do we force change upon our stagnant state? Do we want to leave the comfort bunk that we're in? If every single thing that I do is good in the eyes of the Beholder and the world, I would do them all. But human as you and I am, we conceive mistakes.

I haven't learnt much from life's past lessons. Still very much the same. But, the big BUT is always very prominent in the lion's share of our daily conversations. I'm changing. Changing into what I want to be.

Frankly, I've always envied my coursemates, colleagues, friends and schoolmates. They seem so adept at everything. Some are good in music, studies, physique, eloquence and so many other factors. I'm always mediocre; nothing more.

To cut it short, Change is Good. When that happens, take control of your life and most importantly is the decisions that you make. Manning life's automobile is no easy feat, considering how many of us have met exorbitant "accidents" and "summones."

No matter what car you're in, drive safely. Take charge. DO NOT BRIBE!!

Time. Such a simple gift by God but still we want more.





I want more time for recording and music.





I want more things that could make my life more bearable.





If I had wanted all of that, then God would have made me "Bernard Almighty". Not that I wouldn't want it but I personally know that it wouldn't satisfy my life.





But one important lesson learnt. Make do with whatever we have. Time to go people.

"Time is of the essence..." Gandalf told the Fellowship of the Ring

*quoted from Lord of the Rings ( The Fellowship of the Ring)

It's now 1.45am. I'm not at home but at a cyber cafe. Damn. Exams next week and here I am doing nothing that has any concern to the exam phenomena. I'm just writing nonsense here, don't really know what I'm writing about. So if any of you'll get struck with the "blur" fever, blame me! Hehe...

I had a bad, sick, weak, tired and most of all f***ed up week! I'm finally falling sick with all the burden that I collected over the past 14 weeks that just recently ended like almost a week ago. Great. All that I need now is just a sick and weak body. Now Mei (my girlfriend!) is also falling sick with a sore throat and I think a slight fever with an irritating headache. Must have been because of that kiss I gave her on Monday. (16 April 2007) Geez...I wonder how my other coursemates are doing; just finished chatting with Ai Loon who's happily down in Kelantan. Seems that she and I are partners in crime. Haha! Anyways, I've had a sick week and the incessant rain down in KL and PJ is really a pain in the arse! It's raining like nobody gives a crap about the freaking weather! Rain in the morning, rain in the afternoon, rain in the evening @ night or even both evening and night. Damn man, stupid people causing global warming really killing us by 2061.

Oh well, like I said before I really have nothing to say and being in the sick mood that I am. Will someone just slap me to get my arse back on the floor and study!

p/s: Blue is the colour of people feeling down. For me, I'm feeling so damn sickly that even when I sleep, it doesn't make any damn difference! Nite people, see you lot(EL ppl!) on Tues afternoon!

What's life without a few bumps and humps? We all go through them day in, day out. Some tell me that they don't like who they are, others say that I've been through hell and back and many other excuses. Sigh, even i complain.

Looking it from my point of view, I've used those excuses countless times. Muahahaha! Evil laughter snickering its' arse off. I've been in tight situations and oh boy, I really hated my life last time during secondary school. Been the butt of all jokes because of my naivety and innocent portrayal. But who can blame me? And as time has come and gone and left me lurched in the abyss of self-pity. But that is all over me now. I've given up on these constant "road blocks" that plague my life incessantly.

Since I haven't been writing new entries for quite some time my mind has sorted of taken a new paradigm on viewing the world. Previously, I wrote on things that don't hold any value in this world and after taking a walk in the prestigious "World Studio" , I noticed that things aren't so different after all. We all just pretend to be who or what we want to be. It's just a matter of time for the visage to be undone just as everyone who puts it on needs to take a breather at the end of the day. I suppose that would be the last entry that I would be signing out as Bumps and Humps in Life. For the record, I've decided to change it to Visage of Faith. But why the contradiction? BnHiL to VoF? I can't really tell, it's just that I feel that I put on a visage whenever I'm out of my safe haven. I try to be strong for others, but end up breaking apart.

All in all, I really want to tell most of us out there that I'm starting to see a very minor change in me in terms of studies. Instead of writing about the struggles that we face in life, I'm deciding to write based on the facade that every individual wears daily. Till the next entry(which God knows when will it be published) this is the last entry from Bumps and Humps in Life saying goodbye to the ghost of me...

Open Book...

You think of me as an open book,
All wrapped up or for viewing purposes,
I'm still human,
And I still have feelings,
Ask yourself why you said,
Those words so painful to me,
I want to fall in love,
I want to give my heart to someone,
Who will take me as I am,

And all that you've been waiting for,
And all that you've been praying for,
And all that you've been hoping for,
It's coming true right before you,

I've had enough of being cheap,
Used and then thrown away after their done with it,
Do you know that I'm used to it,
Like some cheap chick that I am,
I walk around with a smile on my face,
So flirtatious you just want me,
Thanks to all the lies,
I am what they say,
Open book,

And all that you've been waiting for,
And all that you've been praying for,
And all that you've been hoping for,
It's coming true right before you,
Take a look around you now,
And see all the lies,
That have made you as what they see,
Just another

Listen to them now,
Listen to their lies,
Listen to all they say,
Right before your eyes,

And all that you've been waiting for,
And all that you've been praying for,
And all that you've been hoping for,
It's coming true right before you,
Take a look around you now,
And see all the lies,
That have made you as what they see,
Just another,
Open book...

This is supposed to be the single from my album and I can't find any way to attach the song here. Help me if possible. Thanks.

Here is a short summary of the song. I wrote this song based on wat someone told me. She should know and if you are reading this, thank you very much!!! It all focuses on the one thing that I find very rare in lyric writing. Guys sing from their point of view and vice versa with the ladies. They write how they feel and it usually starts with a break-up because either party cannot communicate or the extent of having an affair. I guess you all get the drift.

The message that Open Book is trying to send out is very simple. People play with feelings and don't give two fucks about what happens at the end of the day. I just simply wrote it based on my experiences and if it offends anyone, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

I shall try to refrain myself from using vulgar language but no guarantee. Moving along, we all want to be loved. That's when they fall prey. Young couples seen in shopping complexes, as young as "well, we've all seen them so don't pretend and naivety isn't a good facade." So tell me, what do they know? I can't be all judgemental overnight but I question whether do they deliberately want to get hurt? Both of them? Experience it so that others might feel the same when one so proudly proclaims "Vengence is sweet!"

The strength of this song lies in the simple message that beneficial advice from people in relationships at such a tender age is all garbage. Negative advices always win. Evil is always stronger, that's why people are so infatuated with it.

Open Book:
A girl who is not popular in school tries to join sorority clubs but fails miserably. Has a crush on a handsome guy who totally ignores her. She tries to get his attention but ends up being the butt of all jokes with the guy's friends. Moving into college, learns all the latest fashion designs and trends by hook or crook. Updating herself to become a "chick", she changes her style, image and personality.












Taa daa! Overnight changes that lead to a totally different personality. Goes to college and hangs out with the cool people, joins them for clubbing and "other" activities. One night after clubbing with a few friends, she follows a male coursemate who entices her with his masculinity, well-built physique and gentleman like poise. Booked a hotel room, goes there and is greeted by the guy's friends who attempt to "infilrate" her together with the guy. The end of the story shall be revealed in the video clip.

p/s: My album is scheduled to be launched in May 2007.

Cheers to 2007! We'll been moving up and down but the main thing is that we've both got our feet back firmly on the ground. Many resolutions made and promised; how the scoreboard is going to be no one knows.

I've read a lot these few days. Some of it were fictional stuff but mainly I thrived on stories on people's lives. Hmm... I did learn a very important lesson while "reading" and watching One Tree Hill yesterday(07/01/2007). No matter how much we try to protect things most dear to us, it's no use when the world we live in crushes them all right before our very eyes. Practical point of view, we all were blessed with parents(those who didn't get the oppurtunity to bask in the care of parents, my sincere condolences) who would trade anything for us. We may have strayed in many ways alien to others but one thing is for sure is that no parent would intentionally hurt their child. Gut feeling tells me that I've posted similiar entries and being a new year, I'm going to end in two sentences. My family has done more for me than anyone else, more than friends. I was bad bitch that went all out to wreak havoc purposely.

New year means new resolutions. Mine? Err, I don't think that I have any. Realised one thing though, you don't need resolutions to keep you in line but rather your own willpower. One wonderful example was that I woke up an hour earlier than my alarm(scheduled 6.30am) I got up at 8.10am. What a way to start new year and the best part is that I wasn't late, maybe a little but not so much.

N.B: that's my alarm clock by the way. Purchased it for RM35.90.